View Full Version : The Never-Ending story...
15-07-2003, 11:30 PM
If it's okay, this is what's gonna happen. Everyone post a phrase that leads to something else. Then another dude posts what he thinks should happen next, etc. etc. etc.
--A man was walking along the street when he...
15-07-2003, 11:58 PM
... when he throw up in a police....
16-07-2003, 12:09 AM
officer's hat. The officer...
16-07-2003, 12:38 AM
then whacked him with his trusty......
16-07-2003, 12:44 AM
10 lb dead blow hammer, making the man...
16-07-2003, 10:56 AM
... fall over a woman. Then, suddenly, he notice...
16-07-2003, 10:26 PM
...he was bleeding bad, and the woman...
... ran away, screaming and shouting ...
17-07-2003, 04:01 PM
...before smashing her face into a brick wall...
22-07-2003, 05:10 PM
... and breaking her nose. Then a bird ...
01-08-2003, 09:40 PM
stood on her head and ...
01-08-2003, 09:50 PM
...and gripped tight and flew away...
02-08-2003, 01:37 AM
. The woman, with anger about what had happened....
02-08-2003, 04:25 PM
...went to the nearest police department and...
02-08-2003, 06:05 PM
... fell madly inlove with DCI Bart, but....
02-08-2003, 10:23 PM
...the other officers already had their hands up her dress...
05-08-2003, 02:15 PM
Then a criminal threw a bomb through the police station window, and it...
05-08-2003, 09:11 PM
..blew up and the granny got hurled up and smashed through the roof...
08-08-2003, 01:52 PM
... then a big bird grabbed her and flew up to a mountain ...
08-08-2003, 02:15 PM
...where she was chewed up and regurgitated to the chicks for dinner...
08-08-2003, 07:11 PM
but 2 seconds before the chicks had devoured her....
08-08-2003, 08:14 PM
... a bibcat scared them all away ...
08-08-2003, 08:19 PM
... after 5 seconds, the bibcat started staring menacingly, he had that hungry look in his eyes, he jumped to catch his prey, but just on time came [ as usual ] came our beloved hero ...
08-08-2003, 08:53 PM
and one look at the girl and he started drooling, while the evil cat
09-08-2003, 12:25 AM
grabbed a nearby stick it had hidden for an occasion like this and started dancing and singing "Hello, my baby"... :D
09-08-2003, 12:35 AM
...annoyed with the singing, the girl walked over and kneed the cat in the groin....
12-08-2003, 02:50 PM
Then the hero wouldn't stop drooling, so she kneed him in the groin too ...
15-08-2003, 08:31 PM
But she didn't realize he was wearing his handy dandy athletic supporting cup which...
16-08-2003, 03:40 AM
....was made in taiwan. Subsequently it shattered, pinching sensitive skin between the shards of plastic. Lucky the hero has Balls of........
18-08-2003, 12:37 AM
soft polyester...so he laughs at it and walk to the shop to buy a new one...when he comes in the cup-shop...
18-08-2003, 01:03 AM
..he sees a man swingin a cord to some gay ass song (inside joke hehe) and walks out of the cup shop leavin harder noticing.....
19-08-2003, 04:54 PM
...That he wasn't wearing any pants. So he decided to go shopping at the local...
19-08-2003, 10:51 PM
wallmart, where he saw a big stack of coca cola in a triangle shape which he then
19-08-2003, 11:58 PM
...looked at for a long period of time...
22-08-2003, 03:56 PM
.. Then decided to buy beer ...
22-08-2003, 05:21 PM
But forgot his identification and the clerk wouldn't sale it to him. Instead he bought some...
22-08-2003, 08:39 PM
...razor heads, and then he went home to...
23-08-2003, 11:32 AM
poke some badgers with them
25-08-2003, 07:05 PM
But the Badger had other plans, and this time, it's personal.
25-08-2003, 08:16 PM
-The Badger came in a fast attack pose and the man-
25-08-2003, 11:57 PM
Pulled out a Desert Eagle .50 and ...
26-08-2003, 02:04 PM
...then he put potato salad on the gun while he..
26-08-2003, 02:14 PM
...thought about the good ole days at the beauty salon where he would gossip with all the...
26-08-2003, 03:05 PM
good ole boys about ...
very big mistake what he did with his motha
27-08-2003, 01:44 AM
when he was only a little boy with no friends
28-08-2003, 01:29 PM
And she was from Tennessee
28-08-2003, 03:05 PM
... but then he changed subject to his father, who was from...
28-08-2003, 03:22 PM
Texas but he didn't have a truck so he ...
28-08-2003, 03:40 PM
Caught a lift from a trucker named Large Marge who said...
28-08-2003, 04:52 PM
" you know why they call me Large Marge? "....
28-08-2003, 04:58 PM
then the guy said "yeah, you're FAT!!!" then Large Marge ...
28-08-2003, 08:03 PM
29-08-2003, 02:59 PM
into millions of butterflies, which ...
29-08-2003, 03:16 PM
... BLASTED the windows which were already heavily scratched apart to get out of the truck and go to...
30-08-2003, 09:08 AM
...the nearest pet shop and buy some butterfly food, since...
30-08-2003, 01:45 PM
the butterflies were trying to eat him and...
30-08-2003, 01:57 PM
... they couldn't, because his skin was too ...
30-08-2003, 05:06 PM
Dry and hard..So he
30-08-2003, 07:35 PM
... grabbed the butterfly net he had bought the other day and ran after them trying to ...
31-08-2003, 12:57 AM
...catch them for dinner. But after 4 hours of struggle he only managed...
31-08-2003, 10:27 AM
...to catch a hamburger down at Mc'Donalds, where he saw...
31-08-2003, 10:36 AM
... the huuggee double-burger, and decided that it was better than a couple millions butterflies.. so he said: ...
31-08-2003, 11:46 PM
"I feel my arteries hardening already". So then...
06-09-2003, 11:13 AM
... one of the friends he was telling the story to hit him hard on the shoulder and he came back to reailty with a sharp jolt of pain, then he started....
06-09-2003, 11:45 AM
...cry like a little pansy. So his friend poked him with a.....
06-09-2003, 12:11 PM
...giant yellow velociraptor, that had...
06-09-2003, 02:06 PM
...insomnia and a can of degreaser...
08-09-2003, 01:34 PM
and was crazy about showtunes...
08-09-2003, 05:41 PM
...that did not relate to this story...
08-09-2003, 05:48 PM
So the velocoraptor sang it's little heart out and threw the degreaser at...
09-09-2003, 02:05 PM
a purple horse who was just passing. Then the horse ...
09-09-2003, 07:08 PM
ran into the shop and took out a yellow machine gun, and said "who did this?" then the man...
09-09-2003, 08:18 PM
...poked his bellybutton and forgot his name which is actually...
10-09-2003, 02:30 AM
Ricardo Malto Ban..
10-09-2003, 10:00 AM
..because he was named after a danish beer...
11-09-2003, 11:23 AM
...that tasted like gherkins...
11-09-2003, 01:38 PM
and smelled like summer rain.
11-09-2003, 05:40 PM
... after someone had peed into the wind...
11-09-2003, 06:01 PM
.. and the wind had blown it into the butt of a fat geek...
11-09-2003, 06:12 PM
That had just eatin a chalupa from Taco Bell.
11-09-2003, 07:52 PM
.....and threw it up at a......
12-09-2003, 11:11 AM
...mardi gras for Forrest Gump impersonators.
12-09-2003, 01:18 PM
So he felt sad, had a sandwich and sang we are the world with his Gump friends.
14-09-2003, 06:06 AM
... then the purple horse shouted again: "WHO DID THIS?????" so the man...
14-09-2003, 07:53 AM
.....kicked him in the balls........
14-09-2003, 02:11 PM
...which were dangling low, and swaying in the breeze...
14-09-2003, 02:49 PM
......so the horse ran away scared and smashed into a........
14-09-2003, 02:52 PM
...jar of earwigs and dungbeetles.
14-09-2003, 03:21 PM
.......wich started cralling up his nose, making their way towards.......
14-09-2003, 05:34 PM
if u have hands to bit me!! i have legs to flee away!!!!
14-09-2003, 05:47 PM
if u have hands to bit me!! i have legs to flee away!!!!
I think our never ending story.......
14-09-2003, 06:02 PM
haha! that was a cool story, hehe, let`s start neverending story 2
15-09-2003, 07:05 AM
It was a drak night, when a crazy old man...
15-09-2003, 07:27 AM
...who is called "crazy" because he does some really, really weird stuff like...
15-09-2003, 08:16 AM
...shaving horizontally and delivering pizza to people who didn't really order it...
15-09-2003, 09:08 AM
.....and running naked on the street screaming: "I love my cats, i love my cats, aaaaaa"......
15-09-2003, 07:11 PM
Which was the "in" thing to do at the time...
15-09-2003, 07:54 PM
It was a time where smuggling crazy clue was considered hip, even though it was painful.
15-09-2003, 09:16 PM
And often tasted like chicken.
16-09-2003, 06:35 PM
... so actually, he wasn't really crazy at all considering the in and out stuff in his times, but there still was one thing that was totally crazy about him, which was...
16-09-2003, 06:41 PM
bending over, licking his palms and barking like a dog. And this was when he was sober. When he's drunk, he...
16-09-2003, 06:52 PM
..........bangs his head against the pavement screaming: don`t let them get me", but he also........
16-09-2003, 07:24 PM
...pulls the pockets in his pants inside out.
16-09-2003, 08:21 PM
But that's only if he's feeling really frisky.
16-09-2003, 08:29 PM
Which generally happens after reading TIME magazine.
16-09-2003, 08:30 PM
Otherwise he screams out words he's just made up like "drak" and "crazy clue." But he mostly just...
16-09-2003, 09:24 PM
wears men's leather chaps around town.
17-09-2003, 11:45 AM
Leather chaps, purchased from an eskimo belly dancer. However, as payment, the eskimo only accepts...
17-09-2003, 12:14 PM
...holographic images of dead presidents, because...
17-09-2003, 02:15 PM
because it's better for bait when fishing than 100 hundred dollar bills are. So the old man goes to...
17-09-2003, 02:48 PM
bring the funk to the the jive-ass suckers he sees mulling around the park. The jive-ass suckers...
17-09-2003, 05:24 PM
...Talking like truckers,
Dont wanna bring da ruckus,
in da park-us.
17-09-2003, 09:37 PM
...So the man gently pulls up a giant semi automatic laser gun and starts to...
17-09-2003, 09:40 PM
clean his toes with it. He learned to shoot so well ...
18-09-2003, 01:01 PM
by eating lots of broccoli.
18-09-2003, 03:07 PM
that he shoots at the gunk on his toes, and misses, hitting ...
18-09-2003, 03:15 PM
a Jack Russel terrier with a wooden leg and a glass eye. The dog...
18-09-2003, 03:51 PM
... was really pissed off, so he bit the dude's ...
18-09-2003, 03:57 PM
...ingrown hair. The man yelled...
18-09-2003, 09:03 PM
...like an english garbageman with acne, and because of that...
18-09-2003, 09:10 PM
...he was able to bake cupcakes. But one day he made the cupcakes too...
19-09-2003, 01:08 PM
tangy. No one could eat, so instead they...
19-09-2003, 02:48 PM
... used them to pelt the ducks in the park pond in order to get something to eat at the barbecue they organized. Then...
20-09-2003, 12:42 PM
... he took at the semi auto Laser Gun and fried all the meat with it instead, but he also fried...
20-09-2003, 02:24 PM
...Old Mrs Johnson's prize winning calf muscle sculpture. Which happened to be place neatly upon...
20-09-2003, 03:07 PM
.... on Old Mrs. Johnson's 2004 499BHP Lamborghini Gallardo which she had one for making the calf muscle sculpture, but the car also got fried to ashes, so Old Mrs. Johnson...
20-09-2003, 03:24 PM
...felt like playing with a spatula...
20-09-2003, 08:19 PM
... "whatever that is" she thought for herself, and went instead to kick the guy's butt for frying her prized stuff to death (lol), the man kept running until he reached...
20-09-2003, 09:53 PM
...for his knife and stabbed himself in the chest for no purpose what so ever. The reason for this was...
21-09-2003, 06:11 AM
... that he had a peice of bubblegum stuck in his chest, and he was dying to get it out, so he got it out and died!, but old Mrs. Johnson wasn't satisfied ...
21-09-2003, 04:10 PM
so she resurrected him for another good beating by...
21-09-2003, 09:10 PM
candellight...after that she went to the local supermarket and bought herself some serious peanutbutter.
She walked back to the victim..covering him with tons of the peanutbutter and then she licked him all over...when suddenly she sees a man...
22-09-2003, 01:20 PM
peeing on an electric fence.
22-09-2003, 08:19 PM
...However, the electric fence was actually a bottle of window cleaner, which happens to be the #1 choice of peeing locations for many...
22-09-2003, 08:26 PM
Then she felt confused. She never realized that electric fences and a bottle of window cleaner looked so identical. so she...
22-09-2003, 08:33 PM
...Stood next to the man, and peed on it too.
23-09-2003, 08:19 AM
aaah...that feels good!...she said.
suddenly she reminds her little brother, who has been...
23-09-2003, 01:07 PM
creating an army of cardboard cutouts of Olivia Newton John so he can attack...
23-09-2003, 01:28 PM
23-09-2003, 01:40 PM
by singing horribly off-key renditions of...
24-09-2003, 02:12 PM
Chubby Checker's, The Twist.
24-09-2003, 02:23 PM
but realize it was made in 3D, her wish was to...
24-09-2003, 05:59 PM
...have puma shoes...
25-09-2003, 01:05 AM
...which are made to squash pumas, a type of mountain cat which retaliates by...
25-09-2003, 05:20 PM
impersonating Jerry Lewis
27-09-2003, 12:37 AM
whose metaphysical imagery and interesting rhythmic devices seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of his compassionate soul, which contrives through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into...:D
27-09-2003, 04:19 PM
... the power of human stupidity...
28-09-2003, 06:24 PM
.....what somehow has something to do with 3 meter high carrot:???: , that.....
28-09-2003, 09:30 PM
... ends up being divided among the Texas ranchers to feed their nuclear-mutated cattle in the post-apocalyptic world...
29-09-2003, 04:11 PM
... but those carrots turned out to be poisonos, so everything and everyone that ate them diiiiiieeeeeed! SO ALL HUMANS WERE ENDANGERED, so a new race rises among us, called the WIONG KUKOO!...
30-09-2003, 09:59 AM
...Just like the clock. Except no spelled the same.
30-09-2003, 03:04 PM
But the WIONG KUKOO were dangerous!!! They ate all the......
30-09-2003, 03:43 PM
...pepperoni and cheese pizzas with a gigantic spoon made out of...
30-09-2003, 04:52 PM
... BRIGHT PINK! plastic, but those weren't normal spoons, they had special powers, like....
30-09-2003, 04:54 PM
...turning lazy old beer drinking men into extremely sexy goodlooking chicks! who will...
30-09-2003, 06:41 PM
...sit down and drink beer until they're old, fat, lazy women, who go out and ...
30-09-2003, 10:15 PM
...then decides not to go out and instead they go back into the house to have another beer at the exspense of...
30-09-2003, 10:16 PM
the rest of the 3d modeling population, who are forced to use these women as their nude models, eventually causing the...
30-09-2003, 10:49 PM
...problem that our nude models can't hold a straight pose anymore!!! IF that happens...the 3d modelling population is by then forced to...
01-10-2003, 12:23 AM
01-10-2003, 02:16 AM
who was eaten by a passing seagull, and has since reincarnated as a horribly...
01-10-2003, 07:55 AM
...ugly architectural designer with big glasses who likes to...
01-10-2003, 05:10 PM
... eat chocolate and dream about having a tv...
01-10-2003, 05:49 PM
...that can actually talk to you by...
01-10-2003, 06:05 PM
... by putting his hand in his butt, and his foot in his mouth, his finger in both nostrils at the same time, and all the sound comes out of the ear...
01-10-2003, 10:45 PM
transmitting secret messages into your brain that make you paranoid to the point that you will...
02-10-2003, 01:10 AM
02-10-2003, 02:28 PM
... anyhoo, this dude has the ability to down 30 beers in 2 seconds flat, which means he...
02-10-2003, 10:34 PM
is in the running for governor of California and also the Guinness Book of World Records...
03-10-2003, 05:39 AM
... Guinness Book of World Records cuz he can do the ear-speaking thingy AND drink 30 beers in 2 secs flat... so he's pretty good....
03-10-2003, 08:55 AM
...for a kiwi.
03-10-2003, 03:10 PM
...then the kiwi and the man got married, because they fit together like a glove in to a.....
03-10-2003, 04:23 PM
... barrel of crap, soo....
04-10-2003, 05:24 PM
..he barrels to the barrel islands for their barrelling honeymoon where....
04-10-2003, 06:55 PM
... they both drown in a big barrel of crap that they haven't noticed, so OUR STORY ENDS!!!!:( :( :( :grr: :grr:
BUT, there's a new guy in, and that is HIS nighbor, now this guy can drive a car soooo fast that...
09-10-2003, 03:46 PM
the paint peels off it and hits ...
09-10-2003, 04:18 PM
....to a very VERY angry muslim, that........
09-10-2003, 04:42 PM
... pulled out an AK-47 and aimed it at ...
11-10-2003, 08:34 PM
Himself, And Bang ! He Is Not Angry Because of The Car Paint But He Had Been Suffering From A Hideous Angry Sickness For A Long Time And He Finally Decided To End His Life NOW !
But A Fat Girl Saw The "Bang" And She Just Explodes With Fear !
And Some Of Her Oily Fats Lands On.....
13-10-2003, 03:42 AM
the ground infront of him and transform into inhuman fat warriors whome chase him for 2 months until he meets up with Luktar his Gadiun friend they then decide to...
14-10-2003, 06:34 PM
......throw some magic dust on the inhuman warriors, that would transform them into......
14-10-2003, 07:44 PM
.. knobbly little golden necklaces...
...but the fat monsters kill them before they can sprinkle the powder...
16-10-2003, 02:33 PM
... so the powder falls on a coconut and it turns into ...
16-10-2003, 05:47 PM
... A FAT TOMATO! which can amazingly...
....get hit by a car, and splatter all over the road...
18-10-2003, 02:07 AM
which forms a picture that strangely resembles...
18-10-2003, 08:36 AM
... Arnold Schwartzenegger in the Terminator II...
...so, the the shwartzenegger shaped mass of tomato runs for governor of california...
20-10-2003, 02:08 AM
20-10-2003, 02:25 PM
.....a cooking contest, where another competitor is Conan O'Brien, who eats his hair, with his......
21-10-2003, 05:12 PM
... leg tied to a MonsterTruck that has "STING" written on it with blood, driving at top-speed...
21-10-2003, 05:15 PM
...through the streets of vice city, with a giant...
...mass of congressman chasing after it, yelling the videogames cause children too...
21-10-2003, 10:16 PM
yell at congressman for yelling at parents for yelling at children for playing videogames like...
22-10-2003, 05:38 AM
...Super Mario who...
22-10-2003, 03:57 PM
... eats too much sweets which makes children get some holes in their teeth, which is, in the parents' opinions a VERY....
22-10-2003, 04:50 PM
...bamboozling, so the parents unite into one hell of a.....
...moronic political party. which elects the, now rotting, Swarzeneger shaped mass of tomato. the mass then makes it illegal to...
23-10-2003, 08:57 AM
23-10-2003, 06:24 PM
breathes without using a straw.
What!?!? Did the "Never ending story 2" just end?
23-10-2003, 10:22 PM
no...but i suppose we could always start over:D
So there was this pirate...:p
24-10-2003, 03:22 PM
who likes to dance on tabletops...
24-10-2003, 04:09 PM
....but then, when he won a tabletop dancing competition, his competetors were angry and hired hitman to kill the jolly pirate with....
24-10-2003, 04:49 PM
..a dining nife with no....
24-10-2003, 05:01 PM
handle, and a monkey with no arms. Unfortunatly...
24-10-2003, 08:34 PM
...stole the dining nife and made.....
27-10-2003, 01:28 PM
Russian Sandcastles. Unfortunatly it was high tide so...
27-10-2003, 10:56 PM
the jolly pirate used the dining knife and the monkey with no arms to give the hitman a nice, permanent and rather jolly little swim to the BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, where he met a most gruesome CG'er named...
...phillip, but his friends called him Pip...
28-10-2003, 12:12 PM
like from Great Expectations, a book which IMO was extremely...
28-10-2003, 01:08 PM
overated. Anyways, the pirate is getting lonely and his peg leg is tired from all the table dancing, so....
28-10-2003, 05:02 PM
... he eats some monkey arms and settles down to a nice evening full of ...
...TV. but then he wonders why his peg leg got tired, after all, it is made of wood. maybe its because...
28-10-2003, 08:16 PM
he lives on Bizzaro Island where anything can happen and usually...
28-10-2003, 08:40 PM
...people eat lots of cheese on...
29-10-2003, 04:17 PM
wheat bread when they are feeling crazy, which...
is bad , cuz after it they have blue faces...
...which can distract passerbys and cause them to...
29-10-2003, 10:08 PM
... hit gerbils. And there was a peanut who ...
Jake The Snake
30-10-2003, 03:36 AM
was in love with a hairy...
30-10-2003, 06:19 AM
... cucumber, they had two kids who looked strangely like 2...
30-10-2003, 01:29 PM
that were crushed by some pirate with a pegleg who likes to dance on tables when he...
angry by his son Koukou who was a ...
Jake The Snake
30-10-2003, 07:25 PM
cross dresser in the evenings for...
...money. But one night some angry elves kidnapped him and dangled him off the edge of a cliff by his...
Jake The Snake
01-11-2003, 01:41 AM
hand crafted mahagony high heels until he...
01-11-2003, 07:07 AM
... bit the elf's hand off and fell dowwnnn... down....
while he was shouting like a freaky chiken...
while he was shouting like a freaky chiken...
01-11-2003, 11:54 AM
... who had stolen his rooster to marry him...
Jake The Snake
02-11-2003, 03:42 AM
at an all night disco parlor when suddenly...
suddenly somethin weord happened ...
suddenly somethin weird happened ...
Jake The Snake
03-11-2003, 02:51 AM
an ant crawled up his leg and said....
03-11-2003, 07:25 AM
..."you've been chosen to contribute a great task that is...
03-11-2003, 01:36 PM
making sure everyone's cups are filled up and pass out cheese sandwiches.
03-11-2003, 02:41 PM
Unfortunately the cups were stolen by evil FYFYQWEGHA, who likes to color his......
03-11-2003, 03:35 PM
Charlie Brown coloring books with blood from...
03-11-2003, 05:20 PM
.. the dog that have been eating a cat.. that have eating a fish that had eating a ant.. When he had colored the teletubbies in his notebok he..
03-11-2003, 05:32 PM
think back about the good ole days. Years ago on a pirate ship far away. So far that...
that , that , that , u just can't...
... make sense of whats going on in his story...
Jake The Snake
04-11-2003, 12:31 AM
just like a monkey that can fly a ...
...Magical air-swimming hubcap...
Jake The Snake
04-11-2003, 02:43 AM
filled with tomato paste that could become...
04-11-2003, 06:17 AM
a fumbling ball of jello. Instead the monkey would play with his.....
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