Security Breach

Mr Jomo · 26-02-2010, 04:46 PM

Hi there!

This is my first personal work.

Please leave me some comments telling what do you think of it, if you like it or not, and why.

Hope you like it!

shadowseve · 26-02-2010, 05:17 PM

I like it. Very nice render, lighting and textures are good. Excellent work

Nukie · 26-02-2010, 09:09 PM

It has a nice game feeling to it. Have you played FEAR to much? Because I almost expect Alma to walk by any moment now.

foreverlearning · 26-02-2010, 09:50 PM

Nice textures, although I think the bump should be kicked down a little notch, lighting is cool, it does have a game feeling to it i agree, but here is some stuff I was wondering why is nt it there??
1. Security breech means panicing the alarms, and the red alarm light is off?!?! :P
2. the blood material needs work it looks like jam my guess is try removing the bump from it and increase reflectivity.
3. Add action open the vault door(with damage on it) put someone running through the hall even shadow not a model
4. and those pipes are repetitive (just size variation) and why do they end there why dont they have an output from the vault and coming back again to the left??

but technically the image is good lighting and texturing wise keep it up man

sorry If the comments were too much but its how I like people comment my work too it gives a different prespective to things a fresh set of eyes looking at it

take care and keep it up

dark night2008 · 27-02-2010, 05:37 AM

very nice invieroment Congratulation mate

Mr Jomo · 27-02-2010, 11:13 AM

Hi guys,

I'm glad you liked it. Thats what will keep me going. I'm sketching the next one, maybe I'll make a WIP thread for it.
Thank you all for the replys!!

(foreverlearning) - fisrt of all, you dont have to apologyze for anything, comments are always welcome, either good or bad. Thats the only way we can get better.
Following your comments I'd have to say, the alarm light is off because I didnt want to make it to obvious, kind of giving the idea that the security has already been breached but no one has noticed yet.
As for the blood, I'm not really happy with it either, maybe I'll give it a touch later.
Comments 3 and 4 I really get want you mean, probably I wont make that changes to this scene now, but I'll try to pay more attention on that on my next work.

Again, thank you all for the replys.

bye

chunkymunky · 27-02-2010, 12:13 PM

Very nice mood and lighting, i'd agree that there is a definate video game feel to the scene, very reminicent of half life or indeed fear as mentioned. I think that the bump map on the cracked wall should come be descreased slightly. The hallway walls lack any real defintion they need to be chamfered slightly and uneven, at the moment your walls and corners of the walls are very sharp no walls are this sharp ever. Other than that the modelling is very nice and some is the texturing so this is all something you can carry on throught to your next project.

Mr Jomo · 02-03-2010, 08:27 AM

Thank you chunkymonkey. I'll pay more atention to that in the next work.

26-02-2010, 04:46 PM	#1
Mr Jomo 3D Artist Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Lisboa, Portugal Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Security Breach Hi there! This is my first personal work. Please leave me some comments telling what do you think of it, if you like it or not, and why. Hope you like it! Attached Images

26-02-2010, 05:17 PM	#2
shadowseve Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 395 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I like it. Very nice render, lighting and textures are good. Excellent work __________________ Damien Tech Support Respower Render Farm

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26-02-2010, 09:09 PM	#3
Nukie Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 5 Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	It has a nice game feeling to it. Have you played FEAR to much? Because I almost expect Alma to walk by any moment now.

26-02-2010, 09:50 PM	#4
foreverlearning Registered User Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 19 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Nice textures, although I think the bump should be kicked down a little notch, lighting is cool, it does have a game feeling to it i agree, but here is some stuff I was wondering why is nt it there?? 1. Security breech means panicing the alarms, and the red alarm light is off?!?! :P 2. the blood material needs work it looks like jam my guess is try removing the bump from it and increase reflectivity. 3. Add action open the vault door(with damage on it) put someone running through the hall even shadow not a model 4. and those pipes are repetitive (just size variation) and why do they end there why dont they have an output from the vault and coming back again to the left?? but technically the image is good lighting and texturing wise keep it up man sorry If the comments were too much but its how I like people comment my work too it gives a different prespective to things a fresh set of eyes looking at it take care and keep it up

27-02-2010, 05:37 AM	#5
dark night2008 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 437 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	very nice invieroment Congratulation mate

27-02-2010, 11:13 AM	#6
Mr Jomo 3D Artist Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Lisboa, Portugal Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Hi guys, I'm glad you liked it. Thats what will keep me going. I'm sketching the next one, maybe I'll make a WIP thread for it. Thank you all for the replys!! (foreverlearning) - fisrt of all, you dont have to apologyze for anything, comments are always welcome, either good or bad. Thats the only way we can get better. Following your comments I'd have to say, the alarm light is off because I didnt want to make it to obvious, kind of giving the idea that the security has already been breached but no one has noticed yet. As for the blood, I'm not really happy with it either, maybe I'll give it a touch later. Comments 3 and 4 I really get want you mean, probably I wont make that changes to this scene now, but I'll try to pay more attention on that on my next work. Again, thank you all for the replys. bye

27-02-2010, 12:13 PM	#7
chunkymunky General Monkey Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Near Here Posts: 2,981 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 2	Very nice mood and lighting, i'd agree that there is a definate video game feel to the scene, very reminicent of half life or indeed fear as mentioned. I think that the bump map on the cracked wall should come be descreased slightly. The hallway walls lack any real defintion they need to be chamfered slightly and uneven, at the moment your walls and corners of the walls are very sharp no walls are this sharp ever. Other than that the modelling is very nice and some is the texturing so this is all something you can carry on throught to your next project.

02-03-2010, 08:27 AM	#8
Mr Jomo 3D Artist Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Lisboa, Portugal Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Thank you chunkymonkey. I'll pay more atention to that in the next work.

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